story of my life

i'mma tell you...

Some live for the bill
Some kill for the bill
She wined for the bill
Grind for the bill
...

Cos I'mma tell you like you told me
Cash rules everything around me
Singin' dollar dollar bill yall(dollar, dollar bill yall)
Singin' dollar dollar bill yall(dollar, dollar bill yall)
Cos I'mma tell you like you told me
Cash rules everything around me
Singin' dollar dollar bill yall(dollar, dollar bill yall)
Singin' dollar dollar bill yall(dollar, dollar bill yall)

("Sweetest Girl")

I hate money. Can I ever truly express how much I hate money? And how much our capitalist world (or any world, any kind of government) revolves around it, and how much we really need it. Maybe because I grew up with parents that argued about money all the time. Maybe because my mother never learned to repress spending splurges so we were always trying to make ends meet, and I was constantly reminded of the fact. We were absolutely nowhere near destitute, but we were always, always in debt.

Part of the reason I'm so economically liberal is my hatred of money and the inequalities that come inherent in a world that needs money to function. I think it's unfair that people can work equally hard and one person, because of intelligence or schooling or luck or something, can make a ton of money, and the other person can make minimum wage. Republicans always think that democrats are just going to hand out money to people that don't work. To me, though, the idea is that everyone should work for their money, but there should not be such an inequality of wages. Life's never going to be fair becuase genetics aren't fair, but to me, the reward of an education and intelligence is the education and the job itself, not the increased income. I mean, I think people should be in college because they really want to learn, but college has largely become a mechanism to make more money.

So I have all these liberal ideas about a less stratified economic world, but I really don't know very much about economics, and I can be honest with myself. I know my ideal world is impossible. It makes more sense to work in the world the way it is. For instance, if sub-par lending has anything to do with the economic crash going on at the moment, I think it's because democrats jumped a little too far into a dream world. It's idealistic that everyone should own a house. But it's ridiculous in a capitalist lassez faire (spelled that wrong I'm sure) economy to just start throwing money at people that have absolutely no proven propensity to pay, or even proven income to pay with. The world isn't ready for that (or at least the US isn't).

So what I'm saying is that no matter how much I hate money, the US is ruled by an economy I know very little about. And I know that all of my pie-in-the-sky fantasies about a utopia of sorts are never coming true, and I know they're unrealistic and useless when it comes to enacting actual meaningful change.

I know I'm one of those clueless college liberals that really hasn't experienced the grit of the real world. Just so everyone knows that. I hate money. I really do. But I know that I really don't know anything about it.

On Gaza:

I guess it's just a dialectic. The world pushes, someone pulls, a nation falls apart, a world glues together. In and out, up and down, until something gives, something fixes.

"Am I part of the cure, or am I part of the disease?"

Seems like the world's falling apart again. Or has always been. But maybe it's just a big tug-of-war and ultimately we'll get somewhere different, pushing and pulling into a better world.