there are just some things i hope i never understand about the world

I'm reading a book right now by Peter Eichstaedt about child soldiers in the Lord's Resistance Army in Northern Uganda (mainly there anyway). This was after reading a book last year about the genocide in Rwanda. And while these kinds of atrocities may terrify me less than psychopathic killers, they disgust me more.

The book is of course just a long saga of kids getting kidnapped and forced to kill people for... no reason really. I mean, a long time ago there was a reason for the LRA, but it seems like these days the reason is just a tradition of warfare.

I don't know. It disgusts me that a man could give a boy a gun and tell him to shoot another little kid, tell him if he doesn't he'll be shot, and really mean it, really do it, or rape a little girl out of selfish sexual needs. It disgusts me that people in Rwanda could kill their neighbors for no reason other than ancient tribal feudalism ingrained by colonialists. It disgusts me that people in Germany could turn on the gas chambers and throw the bodies in the trenches (for what... religion? The Aryan race? Anti-semitic notions?). But it disgusts me more than there could be calculating men behind all of these things who know exactly what they're doing and do it anyway. From Hitler, Kony on down, all of those men (and women) that could make the decisions that they made in cold blood... that's one part of humanity that I pray I'll never understand.